terminal.

so a lot of things are happening to me right now! the most important thing is that i am not renewing my lease. i'm pretty bummed, i won't lie. but it is just the right thing to do. i have no connection to this area of town anymore. i am a fifteen minute walk to campus but if i'm not taking classes [hint: i'm not going to be taking any classes], what is the advantage of that? my job is on the north side and although it's far from ideal, it's steady and decent money and i don't know where else i would work. i have no connections or friends who live downtown once evan moves [and i never saw him anyway]. it doesn't make sense in the long run, even though my little apartment is pretty much perfect for me in every way [except for the thin walls and the sudden appearance of weak, angry pipes]. additionally? signing a lease for another year would anchor me in tucson for another year. and that is...not okay. i'm getting restless. it's actually beyond that; i am restless, it just continues to get worse. giving up my house means one less thing keeping me here. if an opportunity comes up, i have very little holding me back. and i will be saving a metric ton of money, which i can put toward the thing that i really want to do: traveling. i don't know. i have a lot of things that i am thinking about, and a lot of things that i am planning right now. all of them have become instantly much more attainable once i decided this. i know that i have been changing plans constantly for about six months now, but this is one decision, one plan that seems completely reasonable and mature and holy crap adult, you know? i mean, i looked at a situation, realized that although it was comfortable and fun, it wasn't going to work out in the long run and i changed it. and this is me we're talking about. how about that. but seriously, i need to have at least one more party at my house before i move out in july! the domo-kun pinata will now be symbolic of the breaking open of my life! not really.

although. i don't know. i feel like something inside of me has changed this week. there's the stuff in the above jumbled paragraph. but then i also chopped a bunch of my hair off, which is a small thing but something that i have always been sort of afraid of doing. there are other things. but i don't know. i just feel different this week. i feel like my whole outlook on life and myself and all that has changed and i am really hoping that this isn't just like, a one am revelation that fades once it's morning. hmm. i guess only time will tell.

anyway! this entry seems heavy so i will now break it up the only way i know how: video share! so in the last episode of hetalia [i know, i know], italy squishes a kitten's paw repeatedly. and it is like, the most adorable, hilarious thing i have ever seen. i wish i could share it! but the video isn't loading. sadface. so here is a scene from bedknobs and broomsticks instead.

friday nights at the drive-in bingo.

i feel like i just wrote an entry in here and yet it has been almost two months since i last wrote! how has everyone been coping with this fact? i imagine babies crying, national days of mourning, and newspaper headlines asking, "where oh where is our dose of robyn-soaked mediocrity?" here is your answer!

the problem is that i always forget about what happened to me during long absences. i look back on however long it's been and it's just this long, jumbled mass of late nights at work and driving places and studying math and like, watering my plants or making my bed a lot and i'm like, wow, i am a boring person. but i do remember that my car got broken into since i last wrote! i woke up one morning to my landlady telling me that my side window had been smashed in and there was glass all over the ground. luckily, they didn't take anything; i think that they thought that the emergency kit i keep in my car was a laptop case. not so much! but it's all fixed now and we have a light in the parking area to scare away any wandering, shifty people now. the end!

what else. i need to get another job. again. i am probably starting pima culinary school in the fall. i want to make a thousand tiny cakes in my badass 4.5-inch springform pan. i am growing italian herbs, tomatoes, and jalapenos in my window. i love stats. i have been randomly getting into scandanavian bands lately. equally randomly, i started teaching myself dutch on byki. goede avond! i will also be starting french in the fall because a. i have always wanted to learn french, and b. it is helpful if you want to get into baking, which i do. i also want to have a pizza, wine, and black books night which should end with the breaking of the domo-kun pinata so we can all laugh and partake in probably stale halloween candy. sounds awesome, yes? although i will have to wait until it is air conditioner season so i won't worry about noise in my paper thin-walled house. lamexcore. did you know that horseshoes is a gentleman's sport? i do now, thanks to the bastards behind me who play all the damned time! i can hear their entire, boring conversations in my bedroom! it is awesome, especially when it is one am and i am trying to sleep. oh college neighborhoods.

now i have to go to work so goede avond for reals this time.