terminal.

so a lot of things are happening to me right now! the most important thing is that i am not renewing my lease. i'm pretty bummed, i won't lie. but it is just the right thing to do. i have no connection to this area of town anymore. i am a fifteen minute walk to campus but if i'm not taking classes [hint: i'm not going to be taking any classes], what is the advantage of that? my job is on the north side and although it's far from ideal, it's steady and decent money and i don't know where else i would work. i have no connections or friends who live downtown once evan moves [and i never saw him anyway]. it doesn't make sense in the long run, even though my little apartment is pretty much perfect for me in every way [except for the thin walls and the sudden appearance of weak, angry pipes]. additionally? signing a lease for another year would anchor me in tucson for another year. and that is...not okay. i'm getting restless. it's actually beyond that; i am restless, it just continues to get worse. giving up my house means one less thing keeping me here. if an opportunity comes up, i have very little holding me back. and i will be saving a metric ton of money, which i can put toward the thing that i really want to do: traveling. i don't know. i have a lot of things that i am thinking about, and a lot of things that i am planning right now. all of them have become instantly much more attainable once i decided this. i know that i have been changing plans constantly for about six months now, but this is one decision, one plan that seems completely reasonable and mature and holy crap adult, you know? i mean, i looked at a situation, realized that although it was comfortable and fun, it wasn't going to work out in the long run and i changed it. and this is me we're talking about. how about that. but seriously, i need to have at least one more party at my house before i move out in july! the domo-kun pinata will now be symbolic of the breaking open of my life! not really.

although. i don't know. i feel like something inside of me has changed this week. there's the stuff in the above jumbled paragraph. but then i also chopped a bunch of my hair off, which is a small thing but something that i have always been sort of afraid of doing. there are other things. but i don't know. i just feel different this week. i feel like my whole outlook on life and myself and all that has changed and i am really hoping that this isn't just like, a one am revelation that fades once it's morning. hmm. i guess only time will tell.

anyway! this entry seems heavy so i will now break it up the only way i know how: video share! so in the last episode of hetalia [i know, i know], italy squishes a kitten's paw repeatedly. and it is like, the most adorable, hilarious thing i have ever seen. i wish i could share it! but the video isn't loading. sadface. so here is a scene from bedknobs and broomsticks instead.