i have had the past three days off of work. originally, it was only supposed to be today and yesterday, but monday night i started getting really sick and by tuesday morning i was in no condition to go in so voila. instant three-day break. i really needed it anyway. it has been awful lately. there is too much to do and no one around to do it and the hours seem never ending and my friend zach quit and moved to green valley so it's all very bleak and sad and all that. but it beats the alternative i suppose. at the very least i'm doing something productive, even if it is, at times, a bit soul crushing. i am truly living the american dream.
the restlessness continues. big surprise, i'm sure. i continue to feel very "bird trapped in a small cage" even though i have an exit strategy [or several] in the works. it can never come fast enough. i hate the waiting. i feel like all i've been doing all my life is waiting. it's like that jawbreaker song. sit and stare, it's all we do. all my friends are broken too. we're just waiting. waiting to begin... the problem is that it seems very much like a problem i should be having at around age nineteen, not twenty-two. woefully behind! it's the story of my life. the good news is that i'm not nineteen, so i'm not really angsty-sad about it. that would be majorly annoying. i'm just frustrated and restless. that is slightly less annoying. which is better for the audience, don't you know.
in other news, i cannot stop drinking tea. this afternoon i listened to classical music, read my italy 2008 travel book from the library, and drank an entire pot of tea. it was awesome. i felt about sixty years old. i'm rather looking forward to being old one day. i feel as though i'd do a lot of the things that i do now but i wouldn't give a fuck as much. this can only be a good thing. in other news, i have had writing ideas lately and actually wrote them down so i wouldn't forget them. and all i keep doing is advancing the plots and working out characterizations and all that in my head. it's a shame that they're all centered around silly topics! oh well. it's a fun distraction, and any writing is good writing in my book. who knows, maybe one day there will be some insufferable novel floating around out there with my name on it. and i will say, it all started on blogger, reading public. blame them, not me.
2 comments:
I often think if I was older I could justify some of the seemingly "lame" things I do. At the same time though if I was old I would not be able to justify some of the very "childish" things I do (they are action figures not toys).
Tea is great! I drank nothing but all winter and yet with the heat here I drink less and less. Keep planning those escape plans and if you need any help I am totally here (especially if it involves spies)!
I'm 25 and feel the same way right now. It may be a product of the recession plus everyone living longer and starting things later. Who knows. But I agree that it truly is less annoying since we're not 19. Hallelujah!
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